


Ad Nauseam

by DescriptivePessimism_DAA



Series: Making Friends; How To [1]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel (kinda), I swear, I'll be referring to the original Kaito and the people from their world as "canon"!Name-something, It is not as light as it seems in the preview’s title and series title, Kinda, M/M, Mild – Insanity, Necrophilia (kinda), RI13: Making Friends; How To, Reciprocated One-Sided Love / Pining, This is really the beginning, also, and the newer versions as Alt!Name-something, of the series, okay? Okay. Good, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-05-20 18:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19382302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DescriptivePessimism_DAA/pseuds/DescriptivePessimism_DAA
Summary: Carefully pulling his beloved's unmoving, unresponsive,lifelessbody close to his chest——looking up at the brightly lit moon, a shuddering inhale and...He screams.





	1. Pandora

> (A Price Paid in Full)

  
Kaito swallows a sob and blinks back the stinging tears that threatened to well up in his eyes, keeping his breathing even from the long practice. Steps light and barely audible against the silent night, the moon glowed ominously above his head, looking up, he glares at the visible comet—but unlike any other comet, this one didn’t flash by in a split-second. In fact, it had been there for three days straight, the moon looking awfully big and awfully bright—recalling the last contact and static he had with the detective, he curses.

_Of course, he had to do it!_

 

He didn’t want to believe it, _they_ —both he and Conan- _Shin’ichi_ —had finally found Pandora and took it from _Their_ grasps, but of course, the not-so-little detective had chosen to divert their attention, telling him to meet at Point Quartz. But that was the least of his concern, the detective had destroyed his tracker and transmitter—and Kaito knew that someday, one of them _would_ do this, one of them would destroy their device to let the other get away.

And they both promised each other to move forward, to not look back— _but Shin’ichi’s all Kaito has…_

 

Shin’ichi still had Mouri Ran waiting for him, childhood sweetheart turned bitter when her father got caught in the crossfire. His wife assassinated soon enough, and Ran, poor _Angel_ left alone when her _little brother_ also disappeared without a trace.

Even if he cannot go back as Kudou Shin’ichi ( _not anymore_ , _that became improbable when they found the little scientist—and she blew herself and her lab up_ ).

 

Kaito was more than ready to sacrifice himself for Kudou Shin’ichi, like the Professor, like Ai, like Kazuha and Heiji before him.

 

Much like how both Akako and Saguru sacrificed themselves.

 

Because unlike Shin’ichi, Kaito had no one waiting for him. _Jii_ was caught and soon eliminated, his mother— _kami_ , _his mother_ — _she_ lured Snake and used a bomb to get rid of him and his lackeys—well, most of them. Aoko and the Inspector were assassinated.

His father who apparently faked his death soon sacrificed himself for _Kaito_ — _and Kaito hasn’t even told him that he still loved him! That he forgave him!_

 

Leaping to another rooftop, he scans the area mentally calculating, recalculating and checking as to where it was likely that Shin’ichi went to lure Spider and Widow’s men.

 

Taller buildings diminished and steadily his heart sinks when he finds himself heading to the port, just sideways off of Tokyo Bay— _there_.

 

And this time, he does choke, whimpering. He doesn’t even feel the pain of his feet slapping against the concrete floor from a smaller building, having quickly leaped to a one-story building, breaking into a run—even though he knew that he was too…

_“Tantei-kun…”_ he whispers, nearly breathless but the whine still managed to tear itself out of his throat. Breath hitching as his chest tightened, feeling like someone just pushed him into an ice-cold water _and dragging him down._

 

His knees felt weak, and he just managed to reach _him_ , when they gave way and he dropped onto his knees, ignoring how blood soaked into his pants, carefully pulling the not-teen’s unmoving, unresponsive _, lifeless_ body close to his chest—

 

_His thoughts muddled together as if he was viewing them while he was underwater, unable to listen to what was supposed to be his eidetic memory—mixing with one another._

 

—looking up at the brightly lit moon, a shuddering inhale and…

 

 _He screams_.

 

…

 

Kaito can’t feel his voice, his throat awfully sore—but he ignores it.

_Tantei-kun worked hard, he just needed a nap._

 

(What was the point of it all?)— _Shut up._

**_“—aito…”_ **

 

He ignores how tears persistently streamed down his cheeks, dripping on the detective’s pale, but peaceful—despite the blood splatter—face. He wipes the cold tears away, while his other hand (one with the arm supporting his detective’s head) rubbed the detective’s hand— _hoping against it all_ —wishing it would warm up, that his detective would _move_.

 

(He’s—) _He’s just freezing, he’s just tired. That’s_ all.

 

**_ “—esn’t… prou… ou…” _ **

 

The hand that wiped the tears away, he carefully rakes through the detective’s soft hair, slightly furious when dried matted blood got in his way, not even a few inches in. He doesn’t use force, he carefully tugs, fingers working on untangling the hair that clumped together—and _he ignores it…_

_…ignores the body growing colder and colder, and **colder**._

(We need to—) _We’ll just have to wait, he’ll come around, and then…_

 

**“Not like… you… ap… ou… it! … oba!”**

 

He picks and carefully combs his fingers through his detective’s hair, it was still sticky, and rather clumped together, but it wasn’t as bad as it was earlier he wipes the blood on his clothes, picks at the blood under his nails—but they persisted. And he goes back, checking the temperature of the detective’s face, caressing his too cold cheeks, leaving faint reddish brown trails on the moist skin.

His detective wouldn’t like waking up and finding his hair with dried blood—in fact, Kaito should probably change the detective into fresh clothes… _and_ bath him, it would make his detective flush, and actually, he needed blood rushing to his face—

(Stop it.)

 

—his detective was always shy when it came to physical contact, so he caresses the detective’s face again, admiring how those long, naturally curled lashes brushed against the teen’s cheeks. And his detective would go beet red whenever he gives the not-teen a peck—

 

( **Stop this.** )

 

**“Kaito… ease…”**

 

—he leans down, gently pressing his lips against the detective’s his hand tilting the detective’s head—

 

( **He IS DEAD.** )

 

**_“Please.”_ **

 

—only to brush against the hole in the detective’s neck.

 

He keens, whining, hissing—but he can’t deny it. _Not anymore_.

 

He had no one left.

 

First, it was his father, then _Jii_ , his mother, Aoko, her father, his friends and _now_ — _Shin’ichi_.

 _They_ took him from him!

 

And he presses his face against the detective’s shoulder, the sharp scent of blood and gunpowder hitting his nostrils, but he ignores those, and presses against the familiar material, and the familiar structure of the detective’s body—the cold temperature being the stark difference, and he cries.

Silently sobbing against the detective’s shoulder. Teeth digging into his lip, and drawing blood—

 

_WHAT WAS THE POINT OF IT ALL?!_

 

Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to keep his cool, he quickly lays the detect— _Tantei-kun—_ the body— _Conan—_ the corpse— _Shin’ichi_ on the ground, and he feels it.

 

Hot, almost burning against his chest from his chest pocket—the weight and the feeling of _this stupid gem_ reminding him _what_ _started_ _this all_.

 

Glaring at the comet, he quickly grabs _Pandora_ — _it has to be_!

 

Because if it’s not… _Shin’ichi would have—_

 

(If only this didn’t happen _._ )

 

_If only none of these had happened!_

 

(They wouldn’t have—!)

 

 **_He_ ** _wouldn’t have—!_

 

And with a tangent of anger, resentment, remorse, and yearning—he lifts the gem up to the moon—

 

**_“Thank you.”_ **

 

—And his vision is filled with red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **(Didn’t I tell you guys?** This one is not as light as it seems in the preview.
> 
> But yes, this is the first installment of the **Ri13 Making Friends; How To.**
> 
> (I’m really sorry, I cave-in to the temptation of typing this and posting it—because merely typing it would change nothing as I already do that.  
> But **ASotH** ’s was going too slow, for my taste? And I wanted angst now, so… OwO  
> I gave in, and I just finished writing this, lol.)
> 
> [I’m also having second thoughts in cross-posting this on FFN, because I have no idea what to do with the right alignment.]
> 
>  
> 
> **Until the next update!**  
>  **—DescriptivePessimism-DAA)**
> 
>  
> 
> [Those waiting on the **12th Chapter** of **ASotH**! Apologies people, words there aren’t working, I believe I need to reanalyze the scene before I write it out—and well, this one was bugging me way too much. If you’re not… well, um, okay.]


	2. Lost

> (A Stranger in a Familiar Place)

  
Kaito snaps awake, and he’s staring up at the moon—

 

(It looks smaller…)

 

And almost immediately he springs up and sees the port— _where’s Shin’ichi?_

 

When he balls his fists, he remembers the gem— _Pandora_ —it was gone, did _They_?—why leave him alive? He and Shin’ichi had been thorns on those men’s side for far too long to not be in their kill-list. Did he use Pandora? But why leave him here?

 

­­ _Not now… Shin’ichi_.

 

…

 

He had nearly torn the port apart looking for his detective—only to come up with nothing. There wasn’t even trail of Shin’ichi being there, no pool of blood, _nothing_. If there was anything, it was just the blood under his nails, the dried blood in his clothes.

 

(They were quite loose too)— _not now!_

 

So he racks his mind for the possibility, the reasons, explanations— _why leave him? Why would_ They _clean up and take Shin’ichi? Did_ They _take Shin’ichi?_ _Pandora—Shin’ichi said something about Pandora…_

 

**_“I believe we and they had it wrong, according to Koizumi’s research, Pandora isn’t a gem that grants immortality—rather it grants wishes.”_ **

 

(Could it really be possible though?) _What did he wish for…?_

 

It was risky to check one of the Organization’s bases, some were new—and the base they just went to, it self-destructed. No, the Organization’s bases were too dangerous to look into. His safest bet was their safehouses—so he rushes through the city, going to the closest meeting spot—but that spot was compromised so he’d have to go to the base they used _before_ it. And he hopes that his detective was waiting for him in the base they’re currently using, waiting for him to go back from one of his walks.

Seeing the abandoned looking building, he practically sprints behind it into the small shed, picking the door open—and opening barely noticeable the trapdoor— _so much dust, how did this dust accumulate in just two weeks?_ But he ignores that, _maybe Shin’ichi used the other entrance?_

And he leaps down, reaching for the switch and flicking it on—

 

 _Nothing_. The light didn’t even flicker, worried and anxious, his hand fumbles for his detective’s watch, the one _Conan_ gave to him when they decided to form an alliance. Pressing the switch on the flashlight, he aims it around the room—

—the place looked like it had been used in _years_.

Though they cleaned up after themselves, as they were constantly on the run. They left markers, traces, and symbols for the others—even if there were only two of them left.

 

But they weren’t there… as if he and Shin’ichi had never used this base—nor was Akako’s seal on the far wall. (But that meant this was before they were forced to be constantly on the run.

 

 _Before Kogorou died._ And he was one of the first.)

 

So, Kaito slips the watch on his wrist, hand automatically wrapping around it to snap it shut—mentally smacking himself over the head because it shouldn’t fit, hasn’t for _eight years_ —

— _but it did_.

It wrapped around his wrist perfectly, when _Tantei-kun_ took his wrist measurement and had the Professor adjust the band.

 

Giving it to Kaito as a sign of trust.

 

_Could it be…? Was it really possible? Even Akako said—_

 

Leaving the watch on his wrist, a comfortable familiar weight, he heaves himself back up, and rushed out of the shed—if this base wasn’t available, if his estimations and memory served him right, most of their other bases should be in the same state. Which left him four more bases to check.

 

…

 

 _Nothing_ , except for the standard two that showed use. But if it was only those _two_ , then that meant it was when he just took up Kid’s mantle. _Possible even before_ _his detective rode on that helicopter and his Clock Tower Heist_ —

— _it’s not here._ He realizes, eyes wide, staring up at the empty space that used to house the clock tower.

 

_What was going on?!_

 

Just as he was going to look for a convenience store for a newspaper, tugging his cap low on his face—his eyes caught his reflection on a clear darkened window. Blinking, he stares, taking note of how his clothes seem to slightly drape on his body, how his face is still— _no way_. Then he hears a group of rowdy people, likely businessmen that went on a drinking night so he turns tail, and tucks his hands into his pockets, hunches his shoulders to rush away. Going through twists and turns, circling the block and hiding in the shadows on habit.

Going home, he needed a working mirror—

 

_Wait, was that Blue Parrot?_

 

 _No way_ , _was it really possible?_

Before he knew it he was taking light steps, he presses himself on the side to peek into the window. And Jii is _there_ , serving a customer alongside the female bartender he hired. And he watches as another man calls for the old man’s attention.

Seeing the man well, and alive was enough— _that left the others_.

 

…

 

A check into the Hakuba mansion told him the same, Saguru—the bastard—was on the phone, while he typed something on his laptop, a peek at the date told Kaito that it was unfortunately still at the time when the prick was still too much of a bigger prick.

But if he and Shin’ichi convinced him once, they can surely do it again, right? Then again, he doesn’t actually want to involve them again this time around. He’d rather not have them involved at all.

 

It was way too risky to approach Akako at this point, but seeing Hakuba still alive and with the metaphorical stick still high up in his ass, assured him that Aoko and Akako were still there— _but_ just in case. Seeing as the Clock Tower is gone, for some reason, he slinks into the shadows.

He’ll check on Aoko and her father— _then Shin’ichi_ , and only then will he go home.

 

…

 

He’s probably being overboard in hiding his presence, but habits were hard to break when they’ve been there for far too long—and while his detective might not have a sixth sense for him as of yet, he could always re-introduce himself to the detective all by himself. But for now, he had to make sure his detective stays out of the Black Organization’s reach—

—and there he is.

 

The detective looks like he just woke up, yawning as he appeared in the kitchen, headed for the counter to get himself a glass of water. And Kaito sighs in relief—while he inwardly laments the loss of their bonding and understanding, he’d rather have Shin’ichi safe and happy—and unpoisoned. Even if Shin’ichi would belong to Mouri Ran, it was fine. As long as his detective’s alive.

Everything was fine.

 

Feeling the anxiety settle, he mentally revisits their theories about Pandora, also—if he really was back in time; it would be a massive upper hand to know where Pandora is, that doesn’t mean he’ll stop the heists. At least until he finally gets rid of _Them_.

Judging by the fact that Shin’ichi hasn’t shrunk that meant the little scientist _is_ still in the Organization, and that meant her sister _is_ still alive. And that would mean that most of the FBI agents are still in the States—that could be easily fixed.

 

Much calmer, he heads back home with a smile, sighing in relief as if a heavy weight had lifted from his shoulders.

 

 _It worked._ He nearly whispers it aloud but manages to keep it to himself, feeling the urge to laugh hysterically well up. _It worked, he’s alone—but he has a second chance_.

 

 _All of them have a second chance_.

 

And for now, that was enough. Glancing up at the moon, he raises his hand—as if he was grasping it, and he _swears_.

_This time…_

_It would be different._

 

…

 

He was too much in a good mood to notice that the lights were on, guard laying way too low, after being filled with such copious amounts of relief that it completely slipped his notice, picking the lock (keys had become inconvenient as time went on)—until he is already stepping inside the house…

…but then it was already too late.

 

There’s a blur of neutral colors and a hand is wrapping around his throat, a force pushing him against the door—slamming his head, and his fingers are already slipping into his pockets for the modified card gun and presses the barrel against the perpetrator’s chin, eyes already snapping up to glare at the intruder—

 

—Only for his grip around the gun to falter, fingers twitching on the trigger—almost letting it go, because—

 

 _“Dad?”_ he rasps, breathless at the sight of the man’s tightly grim face, eyes narrowed but his expression wouldn’t have given away anything if it weren’t for the glint in the man’s eyes that showed his confusion. Kaito was about to _cry_  because he didn’t _know_ Pandora even worked to this extent—! ( _Sure, his father was alive and had apparently faked his death the first time around, but his father hadn’t come home until the last moments!_ )

Ready to throw his arms around the man—

 

 _“Toichi?”_ his mother—and he really should have expected that, with Jii and Shin’ichi back. There was nothing else he could have—

 

 **“Mom? Dad? Who—”** _What in the world—_

 

“No, Kaito stay back!” his mother growls, protectively. And he grunts, feeling his father’s fingers and nails dig into his tender flesh as some form of warning—and he realizes, his mother’s warning wasn’t directed to him.

Eyes tracking the source, he stares bewildered. Eyes widening and feeling the air rush out in disbelief.

 

His eyes slip past his mother’s fierce glare, to the figure behind her.

 

His eyes make contact with a pair of all-too familiar blue eyes that tended to lay on the violet spectrum, and his mouth is already moving.

 

_“What the hell?”_

 

**|End|**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **(What?** I wanted to have a time and a mix of dimension travel in Detective Conan fandom, didn’t know how I could spin that, then I remembered I haven’t thought this through and was like: _How_ and _why_ is Kaito so attached to Shin’ichi when according to Shin’ichi’s POV; they don’t even know each other. (But Kaito seems to know him, like _really know_ him.)  
> Not to mention, since he and Ran aren’t close—while Ran is still a karate champion, he does not take her to Tropical Land, nor does go to Tropical Land—so no Conan.
> 
> Okay, so why am I contemplating to add other dynamics (as mentioned in the previous chapter) in? I want this universe/dimension to be vastly different from the original. That’s why.
> 
> **Until the next update!**   
>  **—DescriptivePessimism-DAA)**
> 
> [Completely off-topic, but guys, _what if_ Fukui Yuzuki-chan was actually Kaito in disguise in **Episodes 738 – 739**? I mean, yeah, Conan can sense him. But what if it’s like Haibara with BO? They can only sense them when they’re expecting them.  
> Conan had no reason to suspect Blue Parrot, and he was more focused on the case. If his subconscious noticed it, he didn’t have the chance to acknowledge it since he had the case to worry about not to mention with what Bourbon and Vermouth did when he finally realized it.]

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot to ask:  
> Do you guys want a backstory on why there's changes in the world dear "canon"!Kaito woke up in?
> 
> The backstory of Alt!Shin'ichi?
> 
> Or the continuation where Ad Nauseam left of?
> 
> ("canon"!Kaito explained enough on his, it shouldn't be an issue... _yet_. Depends.)


End file.
